Life as an introvert in a world of extroverts isn’t easy. Do your friends get offended when you choose a good book over their company? Do people roll their eyes at you and your stay-at-home opinions? There are things introverts do that we may not realise may actually bother others — and give them the wrong impression!
As an introvert, it may seem like the world is set up against you and your personality type. You are often misjudged for your reserved and introspective nature, while your outspoken and charismatic counterparts are more loved and seen. Your complex and deep nature causes you to act a certain way which non-introverted people usually misinterpret.
But you can’t help but act the way you do.
Some of your actions may come off as harsh or unreasonable to your loved ones. But in your defence, you’re just being yourself and not hurting anybody intentionally. However, hurt still hurts, and they feel the brunt, not you. Also, making sacrifices and finding common ground for family and loved ones is the proper thing to do.
Studies have shown that your hesitance for certain social activities may be due to a lower threshold for dopamine (a feel-good hormone). However, knowing your degree of introversion or extroversion is the first step to understanding your personality better.
In this article, we’ll look at some things you may not realise you are doing because you are an introvert, how it affects your relationships, and how you can improve them.
How Do You Make Others Feel As An Introvert?
From preferring texts to calls to leaving an event too early — certain behaviours are “normal” to an introvert but unreasonable to others. What do people think of you when you act this way?
Here are some of the most common perceptions people have about introverts. Are you doing these things without realising it?
You Make Your Loved Ones Feel Like a Burden
As an introvert, it is normal for you to go weeks without communicating with your friends, and one day you show up randomly to say hi.
While you don’t mind others doing this to you, your extroverted friends do not feel the same. They interpret it as you ghosting them or finding them too much of a burden to hang out with. If you keep up with this attitude, they’d constantly feel neglected and may withdraw from the relationship.
Do this instead.
In a bid to maintain your relationships, you usually wouldn’t want to overwhelm yourself with too many commitments. However, you can always keep in touch with a short, thoughtful text now and then to let your friends know that you have them in mind.
You Come Off as Arrogant
Are people getting more and more hesitant to invite you to events? That’s because they know you’ll probably say no. For an introvert, social gatherings are the quickest way to burn out, but people may not quite understand that. They see you as an arrogant snob who would turn down invitations.
This should help.
It’s challenging to change people’s opinions about you, but you can tweak the source of their beliefs. Instead of turning down all invitations, attend top-priority ones. Have a plus one (preferably an extrovert) to keep you engaged in such a setting.
You Give the Impression You Are Shy
Due to your reserved nature, people quickly conclude that you are shy, which is usually not the case for many introverts. Your introverted personality means that you are more energised in solitude. In contrast, shyness is a feeling of discomfort, self-consciousness, and timidity around other people.
Do this instead.
One way around such perception is to be more conscious of your body language in public. Stand straight and maintain eye contact during conversations.
You Seem Unreliable and Indecisive
Your tendency to overthink causes you to appear unreliable and indecisive to others. You want to know a question’s intent and hidden meaning when there might be none.
A simple question could spur into deep unnecessary analysis — a behaviour that non-introverts find annoying. So, when the need for a more proactive response arises, you’d probably not be asked.
This should help.
If you are anxious about giving the wrong answers, you can always ask to think about it before responding.
You Make People Think You Are Lazy
As someone who easily gets drained by social activities, people often misinterpret it as laziness. They can’t fathom why you are too tired to engage in a conversation or why you’d prefer your couch to forge new relationships.
This should help.
While you can’t change how people feel about you, you can also be more conscious of not letting your love for solitude deprive you of great opportunities. However, don’t try to befriend everyone at once; start with one or two people.
You Are Seen as Ungrateful
Many introverts struggle with openly expressing feelings like gratitude. You’d hope your loved ones can read your behaviour or, if possible, your mind to know how you feel about them. It’s not your fault; you mostly don’t know how to react to beautiful gestures. But from the outside, it looks as though you are ungrateful.
Do this instead.
The way around this is to be more vulnerable with your feelings. You can always say, “I don’t know what to say, but I truly appreciate this.” You can also use non-verbal means like a hug or a smile to communicate your feelings.
You Are Viewed Mysterious or Unreadable
As an introvert, you’ve likely been called a closed book. While some find this mysteriousness intriguing, it’s plain irritating to others. They may see you as unreadable or unwilling to open up and be vulnerable.
In truth, it’s not that you are trying to be mysterious, but it’s just part of your highly private nature. As an introvert, you’re not one to jump right into the middle of conversations or bare your soul to people you don’t know well.
Is this a concern?
Ultimately, your privacy is your privacy, so this is an area where you don’t need to worry too much. Nothing says you must be an “open book” or even a big talker. What is important, though, is ensuring you don’t shut out the people that matter.
Is Introversion A Bad Thing? Do You Need To Change?
If you have ever felt stuck in your relationships or have lost certain opportunities because of your introversion, you might think that you need to change.
Well, no, you do not need to change who you are. Being reserved is your nature, and trying to change it will only push you toward burnout and unhappiness. However, you should give room for flexibility and compromise.
It would be best to take responsibility when your behaviour inadvertently affects others — and the first step in doing that is awareness. It would help if you also communicated preferences to rectify people’s expectations. An example is telling your friends you’d prefer a text to a phone call.
Overall, do not let your personality limit you from building great relationships. Take some time out to enjoy the outdoors with your friends. Use your profound nature to tactfully build quality networks and master the art of friendliness without being shallow.
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Author Bio — Charles Adeoye, BrainManager Team
BrainManager.io is on its way to becoming a leader in psychometric testing, self-assessments, personal growth, self-improvement, and career development. As a member of the BrainManager team, Charles Adeoye holds a master’s degree in economics from the University of Exeter.
Being someone who struggled with mild OCD as a teenager, Charles has always been curious about how the human mind works. Now, he’s invested in discussions around personality types and how understanding each other’s unique personalities can help foster harmony across families, friendships, relationships, and in the workplace.
