This is a rather fabulous guest post written for us by the football-kicking, lipstick wearing, all inclusive Billie Graham (Social Panda no less) from Cranberry Panda.
Let’s show those bloody men! We’ll have our own networking events because men don’t really need to be there do they?! What can they contribute? We can benefit so much more from just being us girls together; no boys around and their pathetic “opinions”. Men don’t value us, don’t understand us, so let’s show them by doing it for ourselves. Us sisters stick together.
Hmmm. Sounds very prehistoric and tokenistic. And a bit crazy.
I understand that events need to be tailored to suit needs but don’t tell me that should be so defined that you are instantly excluded for having a penis. Really? I don’t endorse isolation in any form. In the same breath I challenge women-only events, I’d challenge men only events, too; why do they have to be men only? Are they talking about penis enlargements? Women-only events; are you discussing tampons?
Some women probably feel empowered attending or hosting these events (according to my research and a little poll I ran) but when will women realise that by segregating yourselves, you cause further discrimination?
Some women say they feel more comfortable networking with other women. If you feel uncomfortable networking with men how the fudge are you going to work with them? Maybe it’s stemmed from a young age?! But that’s a whole separate blog post!
At my primary school, aged 10, we had a boys football team. The coach said I couldn’t play because I’m not a boy but I could start a girls football team. I challenged him and said I wanted to play with the boys(!) “I don’t want a girls team, I want a mixed team, I want some of us girls who are brilliant at football to be picked for the ‘boys team’.” Six weeks later we had a mixed team and I was picked. I learnt from them and they learnt from me. I doubt any of those boys then grew up thinking “girls can’t play football”…
The moral is that you don’t fight fire with fire. Women: don’t go off and start female-only groups and events you’ll miss picking up and learning from some of the top thought leaders in the industry. Men: step up, see beyond the gender and if you think a woman is a key speaker or should be on the board, don’t let that lipstick faze you.
Positive discrimination is not the answer. Having a minimum number of women on boards is not the answer. I want to be on a board one day but not to make up bloody numbers! The answer is to bring men and women to mix with people who are in business, who have experience, ideas and opinions; to learn and benefit from each other, to quash stereotypes and pre conceived opinions. Step out of your comfort zone, both sexes.
Next we’ll have Brunette Mother Aquarius only events.
Shoot me now.
I don’t understand any form of networking group or business that openly discriminates against either sex. It’s not something to be proud of. In my opinion women only groups and businesses make women appear weak – irony much?Surely a healthy mix of PEOPLE is far more important.
In essence I agree that we cannot tackle discrimination by having groups which it would seem on the surface are discriminatory in and of themselves. It makes sense but I would also argue that affinity groups are usually created because there is a need for some to actually find a voice in the bigger groups.
For example I recently spoke at women’s network in an energy company. There was a fair sprinkling of men. Some of the women in the group were intimidated by the larger networks and part of my speech was to take them on that journey of confidence to not letting being a woman hinder them. To shape their conversations I took the opportunity for men and women to air some of their grievances and assumptions around gender, promotion and workplace politics. Could this have happened in any other forum? Of course, however I appreciated that the women’s network allowed some to feel safer to air their views in such a group first and build on it.
On the face of it I also think that women’s only groups prima facie seem to be discriminatory, but not every woman is bold enough to raise some of the issues they have in the open and like other affinity groups which cater to race or sexuality, we cannot ignore, especially in the larger organisations, that their are steep mountains to climb and sometimes there are people who don’t have an outlet to get their concerns or worries out.
I have no problem with women-only networking events, as long as they’re home in time to do the ironing and hand me a cold beer.