This is a guest post from Anthony McCormack founder of Macstaff, as part of our Recruiting Weekly Series. Anthony shares his thoughts and experiences with Ali (Alcohol) and how his career in the recruitment industry impacted on this.
So we’re in recruitment, one of the classic work-hard, play-hard industries. You have to drink (alcohol), right?
Well, I’m in the middle of an experiment to test that hypothesis. Me and Ali have broken up! Well we’re on a trial separation anyway…
I wrote her a letter:
So Ali (Alcohol), you’ve been a part of my life for pretty much as long as I can remember.
We’ve been on this trial separation with OYNB for 300 days or ten months now, and I’ve had time to reflect and gained true perspective. I am writing this letter to let you know how it was, how it is and how it will be.
I never really questioned whether a relationship with you is a ‘good thing’; it was just a given.
I never thought to question if I should trust you; it seemed, every friend, family member, colleague, coach, teacher, and role model, I’ve ever had, were already hand in hand with you going through life.
Childhood:
As a child, I couldn’t wait to see you at Sunday dinner, meet you at the grandparent’s house, properly hang out with you at Christmas. It was so grown up. Being old enough to drink, was a milestone and there was a hierarchy of rites of passage that I proudly climbed; being allowed to drink at home, being able to get some from the corner shop, getting served in a pub and ultimately being legally allowed to drink whenever and wherever I chose!
Family:
You’ve always been present in our family…almost a member of the family. You have been invited to every occasion: births, deaths, marriages, birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs, holidays, Easter, Christmas, New Years etc etc oiling the social wheels and enhancing the emotion. Yes, you were always around, from the beginning, quite often the first topic of conversation, always the centre of attention and you sure stuck around right until the (sometimes bitter) end.
Teams:
I see the irony now, sport is supposed to be a healthy pursuit, but you were also front and centre of every sports-team I have ever belonged to. A couple after swimming training or gala’s, swim team pub crawls. No surprise to see you at rugby, that’s a good half the reason I was there! A few after the match, rugby/drinking tours, a new circle of friends to drink with on other days! #WinWinWIn
University:
You had tagged along with me to University, but I soon realised that coincidentally you were already part of the culture and the institution. I hooked up with some new drinking buddies, and you were ever-present as one of the lads! Freshers week, a different cheap booze night every weekday (50p a pint/shot in my day) J Drinking after lectures finished every day, sometimes this was as late as 4 PM! Then maybe back home for the weekend to drink with my old mates. How much would we drink? As much as we could! I was proud of the war stories at the time, and I’ll skip the shameful specifics, but I am lucky to have made it through many risky situations in ‘beerland’.
Career:
So, despite your bad influence, me and my mates all graduated and surely it was time to grow up and leave drunken stupidity behind? Not a bit of it! As I hadn’t lined up a job after Uni, I went to my local recruitment company, and instead of finding me a job elsewhere, they hired me themselves. BOOM, my recruitment career was born. Fortunately/Unfortunately it turns out to be a work-hard-play-hard industry and so it continued. You were fuelling every occasion: club trip/holiday and all-inclusive drinking…team record and drink…year-end and drink…month-end and drink, and you guessed it day-end and pretty much also always drink! Celebrating by drinking, commiserating by drinking. Lunchtime drinking. Drinking with clients. Drinking with suppliers. Taking the edge off a stressful day…drink! It’s normal, right?
Moderation:
I knew we needed to see each other less, that the co-dependency wasn’t healthy. So on to moderation. I have no fond memories of this stage in our relationship. My conscious brain was telling me I should drink less; my unconscious brain was telling me I should drink more. Always more with Ali. I’d done dry January and Stoptober, white-knuckling it, proving I wasn’t addicted. Then straight back on it…making up for the lost time!
OYNB:
Then OYNB popped up in my FB feed, and I saw another way. The alcohol-free (AF) way. Free from being under your daily control. Free from the cognitive dissonance of moderation. Free to make a new start. Free to live life better!
I started reading my new tribes posts, and it all made sense, it all resonated. It wasn’t just me you’d duped, it was thousands of fantastic men and women on OYNB, it was society at large. I realise and it’s the title of a book that you (alcohol) lied to me. Seeing everyone’s stories out in the open took away the need for my secrecy and shame.
The future:
So Ali, you’ve been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. You’ve been a part of many good times and bad times! We were good together for a while but haven’t been good together for a good while. I see now it was an abusive and one-sided relationship. You are going to be a much smaller part of my life in the future. Maybe non-existent. After that, I may see you from time to time, I’m not sure, but we certainly won’t be in a relationship. So TTFN xxx
Sincerely, Ant
So, for my fellow recruitment industry colleagues: Maybe you don’t have a relationship with alcohol, maybe you love your relationship with alcohol. However, I thought I’d share this blog to plant the seed that if you want to change your relationship with alcohol, it can be done and you could consider OYNB in 2021 as I have in 2020?!?!
I won’t spoil the surprise, tell you everything that is good about OYNB but it’s got everything you need to go alcohol-free, and that’s all you need to know from me for now. If you’re interested, check it out for yourself.
How you feel when something or someone is removed from your life is always a tell-tale sign.
Do you feel happy or sad? I just feel relieved that Ali is no longer a part of my life.
How do you think you will feel alcohol-free? Only one way to find out!
Author, Anthony McCormack – Founder of Macstaff 
A high performing Recruitment Consultant, Recruitment Manager & Recruitment Director with 20+ years of recruitment agency experience. Founding Consultant, Managing Director and Entrepreneur behind Macstaff. Proud member of professional industry associations and published Author.
